Freaky Friends
by MyOwnStar
Summary: It happened to Lizzie and Matt-could it happen to a person TWICE in a lifetime?? See what happens when Lizzie and Gordo stumble upon an ancient book that sends the two into-each other's bodies!? Interesting events and insightful relationship realizations.
1. At the Library

A/N: This is my first attempt at a Lizzie fanfiction, as it has been for many. I decided to make this one primarily a COMDEY/maybe more. I will rate this PG-13 though I think it can pass for PG (but the -13 part because it does deal with some stuff that I wouldn't necessarily deem simply PG material) L/G ** POVs change and will be noted with ~~ marks.  
  
It happened to Lizzie and Matt...could it happen to a person TWICE in a lifetime?? See what happens when Lizzie and Gordo stumble upon an ancient book that sends the two into...each other's bodies!? Interesting events and insightful relationship realizations take place. PG-13 NOTE: Pay close attention to the switches. Even in one another's body, I keep their original names but try to make it clear as to who is who...you'll see. ( Have fun! Oh, and in this story, it makes no reference to the episode that featured a body switch with Matt and Lizzie.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Freaky Friends  
  
Chapter 1: In the Library  
  
Looking into the mirror, at the blond strands that framed my face, the pink lip-gloss precariously placed upon my lips, the orange crew neck shirt I was dressed in, and the dangling ornaments around my wrists, I can't help but think...Orange really IS the new pink. Shaking my head of such thoughts (what has gotten into me?), I look again in the mirror and sigh deeply. Turning toward the door, I walk out of the bathroom.  
  
~~  
  
I just decided, if not for me, then for him, that I really need to start using conditioner. Well, HE does anyway. I use conditioner. Great conditioner. And for his sake (and mine) I hope he continues to use it...wait! That would require a shower....ohmigoodness! It was bad enough he was in the bathroom! I dashed out of the room and bumped right into me...I mean him...I mean....UGH.  
  
~~  
  
I look down on what I will refer to as "me". Wait, you must be confused. I bet you are. WE are...and we're the ones IN the predicament. Just sit down...and let me take you back a few hours before to this very moment.  
  
A FEW HOURS BEFORE:  
  
"Who assigns a report on famous people no one really recognizes? I mean...isn't that kind of pointless? If they were famous, don't you think people would recognize them?" I asked, letting out an annoyed breath and leaning my head in my hand, as I looked Gordo's way.  
  
"Well, it's more like...famous people that no one really paid attention to, no one really saw their potential...until they were...dead." He furrowed his eyebrows at his own explanation, which I'm sure sounded better in his head. "Well, anyway I hope that isn't my problem."  
  
"It won't be," I reassured with a smile. Looking back at my paper, I reread what I had spent the last hour working on.  
  
'Lizzie McGuire  
  
History - Period 4 January 10  
  
A person that was famous who no one had really paid attention to was '  
  
I sighed. So far. So good.  
  
~~  
  
I looked over at Lizzie. She was really struggling with her paper. I looked down at my own five pages...a rough draft really, but it was still more than her ...well...almost complete sentence.  
  
"Well, who have you picked?" I asked.  
  
"I haven't yet," she replied with an embarrassed laugh.  
  
"Lizzie! The paper is due in a week," I reminded her.  
  
"Yeah. I'll have it done by then!" She said with her notorious air of independence. She turned back to her papers and began diligently...looking busy.  
  
She was good at that. Looking busy. I was good at looking...at her. I smiled. She was always too oblivious to notice anyway, so I looked at her a lot. She's really cute and there's nothing wrong with thinking your best friend is attractive! (Right?) That's what I tell myself anyway. My dad would refer to it as healthy observation.  
  
"Um, there's probably books upstairs we haven't looked at. Maybe you'll find something there."  
  
"I don't know, Gordo. I think I'll just try getting online or something."  
  
"Aw, come on. Where's your sense of history?" I teased.  
  
"It got lost in my sense of speedy searching," she replied as she got up and headed for an open computer.  
  
~~  
  
'Famous people who go unrecognized.' As I typed this into the search engine, I felt Gordo behind me.  
  
"I don't think you're searching right. You'll never get anyone that way. You gotta look for someone who wasn't recognized when they were alive and after they died their works were discovered or at least made famous," he explained.  
  
"Who'd you pick?"  
  
He smirked. "I'm not tellin'. You gotta choose on your own, Lizzie."  
  
I turned to him, slightly offended at his insinuation. "Gordo!"  
  
He smiled and shook his head. "Come on. Let's go upstairs." 


	2. The Book

A/N: Make sure to pay close attention to the switches. Even in one another's body, I keep their original names but try to make it clear as to who is who...you'll see. ( Have fun! Oh, and in this story, it makes no reference to the episode that featured a body switch with Matt and Lizzie. I decided to add the first three chapters at once to let you get into the story.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Freaky Friends  
  
Chapter 2: The Book  
  
~~  
  
Adjusting her orange shirt as she stood, Lizzie followed me toward the huge steps that led to the library's often unvisited upper level.  
  
We walked past the usual rows of bookshelves, we looked for anything...artists, explorers, writers, anyone. The paper turned out to be harder than expected for the both of us and our teacher advised us to 'be creative'. Be creative? That's asking for trouble if you ask me.  
  
"Oh...wait. What about that room over there?" Lizzie suggested, pointing to a door near the boy's rest room.  
  
"I've never seen that room before," I replied, furrowing my eyebrows in curiosity.  
  
We both walked over to the dark room, pushing the door open just a bit as we peered our heads in.  
  
~~  
  
I was so afraid some big creepy monster was going to bite my head off just then. Well, not really but it was really creepy dark. I looked back to find a librarian but not one was to be found anywhere. Figures.  
  
"There's gotta be a switch here somewhere," I said, as my hand roamed the wall for a switch. It ran into something...something kind of firm, something warm, something moving! I screamed.  
  
"I just felt something on the wall!" I tried to wiggle past Gordo.  
  
"Yeah, it was my hand." He smiled as he took his own hand from the dark to show me. "I was looking for the light switch."  
  
I breathed out relief. Just then, there was a flicker of light, and then a couple more, and then the full elimination.  
  
"The lights just came on...by themselves," I stated, giving Gordo a look.  
  
"Eh, it's how old buildings can be. The lights can act funny," he shrugged as he walked past.  
  
Sure enough, inside this addition to the library was another whole world of books, and maps, and tables, even card catalogs.  
  
~~  
  
I walked past Lizzie as I observed everything. For some odd reason, the ceiling seemed higher, and the rows of books longer. I didn't say anything, as we walked up one row and down another.  
  
"Wow. These books look so old," Lizzie said.  
  
"Yeah. They do," I replied, though my mind was whirling as I read all the titles we came across. I know I hadn't seen any of these titles or names before in the library search. "I wonder if they even know these are here."  
  
"Hey, Gordo! Look at this one!" Lizzie took one of the books off the shelf, coughing away some of the dust that came along with it, and looked at the smooth cover. It's design was intricate and spell bounding. I almost got dizzy following it.  
  
"What's it called?" I asked, looking at the binding.  
  
She turned the book around for any sign of a title or author. Nothing. "Maybe it's on the inside," she suggested, as she cracked the book open.  
  
Nope. It wasn't there either. In fact, as the pages were flipped through, there weren't any words. Just all blank, aged pages. Wait a second... I realized...I'm holding the book. I thought Lizzie was holding the book. I look over and gasp, dropping the blank book to the ground.  
  
~~  
  
"Nothing. That's odd," I started, then stopped as I cleared my throat. Did my voice get deeper? What was wrong with my voice. Just then, the book fell hard to the ground, and as I looked at it, I noticed my shoes...about a half a foot away from me. Within seconds, I followed them up my legs, up my orange shirt, to the face I was accustomed to seeing in the mirror. The face that was now staring back at me with the same horrified expression I know I was also expressing. I looked at my hands...well, NOT my hands...and then felt my face and hair. In place of the blond hair was curls...curls I assumed were brown...Just then, I fainted. 


	3. The Switch

A/N: If you like this so far, more feedback = more chpaters! : ) I would love to hear what you would have to say and any feedback you have! ENJOY!  
  
-------------------------------  
  
Freaky Friends  
  
Chapter 3: The Switch  
  
~~  
  
I almost did the same...fainted. But it was all so surreal that I didn't even believe it was happening just then. I didn't believe that I was in Lizzie's body. I knelt down and took a close look at my face...before me. MY FACE. "Um...wake up," I said, Lizzie's voice ringing through the air. My hands shook with nerves as I shook my own fainted body. "Wake up, Lizzie...I mean...Gordo...I mean...Just wake up!"  
  
~~  
  
As I came to, I looked up and saw a girl shaking my shoulder, coaxing me to wake up. As my vision cleared, and I took a better look at the person before me, I got up quickly.  
  
"What happened?!" I demanded, my words coming through in Gordo's voice.  
  
"I don't know!" Gordo replied, following me as I stood up.  
  
"How did this happen? What just happened? Why am I in your body?" I bombarded Gordo-now a cute blond girl (me)-with questions, in hopes that he knew the answers.  
  
"I....I...."  
  
Great. He really was stuck as me.  
  
~~  
  
I was speechless. What do you say when you somehow switch bodies with your best friend?  
  
"PARANORMAL!" I almost shouted.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Paranormal. We...switched bodies somehow. It's paranormal. It has to be the book," he sputtered out.  
  
I picked up the book, blond hair falling in my eyes. I brushed them out of the way as I opened the pages.  
  
"We opened the book and...then..." I looked up at her, him,...me? Her AS me, and continued. "We switched bodies." I wasn't used to hearing Lizzie's voice come out of my mouth...well, her mouth...but-anyway! It was weird and I was freaked out.  
  
~~  
  
"You're opening it now! Why aren't we switching back?!" I demanded, gasping because I noticed my voice squeaked ever so slightly.  
  
Gordo looked through the book and I watched him. My hair draped down and he didn't bother to move it. I looked different. It was so STRANGE. But then again, who really sees themselves...the way others do! Literally! As I stared at Gordo, who was stuck in MY body, I got sucked into thinking about the different things about myself, the things I wanted to change, the things I liked, how I needed a haircut.  
  
I was snapped out of my phase when Gordo turned to look at me.  
  
"I'm taking it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The book," Gordo explained.  
  
"But shouldn't we check it out?"  
  
"Lizzie, it's unmarked, in a dark room no one even knows about, and...I just switched bodies with you. We're taking the book." 


	4. At the McGuire's

A/N: Feedback has been GREAT. I will try to post as I get it out. Here is where you have to start paying attention. Even in Lizzie's body, I refer to Gordo as GORDO and vice versa, but try to keep the two separated with different things they do.  
  
ALSO: Now, I'm a person of detail and think the funniest things can come out of the more ordinary events, which we take for granted until...we're stuck in someone else's body! These include personal life (You'll see what I mean). I hope you don't think I'm TOO WEIRD after this chapter. Read on, enjoy, and tell me what ya think. Feedback lets me know people are reading it, which means...I gotta write MORE!  
  
Chapter 4: At the McGuire's  
  
* * *  
  
So, we took the book. Gordo carried it in my backpack as we walked out of the library and down the steps. I felt mildly bad about what we had done, but after I reminded myself that I was walking in Gordo's shoes (literally), I changed my mind. There wasn't room between feeling weirded out, confused, scared, and uncomfortable to feel BAD.  
  
Just then, Ethan Craft was roller blading our way. As he skated past, I forgot who I was, and said, in my sweetest voice, trying to look casual, yet cute, "Hi, Ethan."  
  
He gave me a confused glance and replied, "Hey, GorDON."  
  
My mouth dropped and I felt my face turn beet red. I wanted to correct the situation. Did I just make Gordo flirt with Ethan? I looked over at me (Gordo) as he said, "What was that?"  
  
"Sorry! I forgot who I was for a moment!"  
  
"Let's not make that mistake again."  
  
"Let's just go. I am having the worst day," I said, lifting my hands with a bit of drama and walking past.  
  
~~  
  
She was really starting to make me act feminine. Her walk was straighter than I normally walked, her hands were expressive in a different way, and I even think she tried to flip non-existent blond hair every once in awhile.  
  
"YOU'RE having a bad day?" I looked down at my new body. "I just lost my manhood!"  
  
Stopping in her tracks, Lizzie turned to look at me. "Manhood? Please. You're a woman now. You should be so lucky."  
  
Am I hearing this? Am I really hearing this??  
  
I shook my head. "Let's just go."  
  
We finally reached her house and I stepped up in front of her to open the door.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
I turned back. "Don't you think it'd be weird if GORDO went in the house first?"  
  
I shook my head (er...I shook HER head, I guess I should say) and turned back, turning the knob and opening the door, officially entering Lizzie's world.  
  
~~  
  
We dashed up the stairs and into my room.  
  
"Lizzie? Is that you?" Mom called from downstairs.  
  
"Uh..." Gordo stammered. "Y-yeah! I'm home."  
  
"Well, dinner's soon!"  
  
"Thanks!" Gordo replied, as he slumped my shoulders down and looked at me. "So...what do we do?"  
  
"Well, let's look at the book," I suggested, flopping on my own bed and taking it from my backpack (Gordo had stuffed it in there at the library). As I turned the book in my hands, I tried opening it as I had done before, perhaps hoping to reverse the situation by repeating the same motion. Nothing.  
  
"Um, Lizzie?" I looked up. It was weird to hear your own name in your own voice (like, when you know someone who has your own name, and you call that person by their name, but it's also your name and it just sounds weird coming out of your mouth...kind of like that), but indescribably odd in this situation.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I....I need to use the bathroom."  
  
My face flushed. "Well, hold it!"  
  
"I can't! If you hadn't had those four glasses of Coke today-"  
  
"You can't go to the bathroom. You...you're, ugh! In my body!"  
  
"Shhh!" Gordo looked at the door and then at me again. "We don't even know how long this is going to last. Eventually we're going to have to..." He stopped and thought about this a moment.  
  
~~  
  
As much as a REALLY didn't want to...I had to. I had to pee. Lizzie's bladder must be the size of a walnut.  
  
"Can't you just hold it? PLEEEEASE?"  
  
I cringed. My voice, whiney, did not sound good at all. "I wish I could."  
  
She pouted and got up. "Gordo, I swear, if you look I'll-"  
  
"It's pee and go! That's all," I said, relieved she was relenting and letting me use the bathroom.  
  
"Gees, Lizzie. I haven't seen you run that fast since-" I didn't hear the rest of what Matt's insult was because I slammed the door shut and locked it. Leaning up against it, I worked on calming the pain of needing to go, and breathed deeply.  
  
"Okay," I whispered to myself. "Just pull down the pants, sit, pee...wipe- go. Yeah. That's it." I shuddered and almost threw up. I always felt I was close to Lizzie-very close-but this...this definitely lifted that to a whole new dimension.  
  
~~  
  
How long was he going to take in there?? He was peeing as ME! How embarrassing, how humiliating, how mortifying!  
  
I stomped over to the bathroom door, knocking loudly. "Are you almost done?" I demanded.  
  
Dad gave me an odd look.  
  
"Gordo?"  
  
"Sorry, D...Um. Mr. McGuire. I just really need to go," I smiled and nodded, as he walked past.  
  
"NO!"  
  
I turned my attention to the response from the other side of the door. "Well, hurry up!" I waited right there, leaning my ear against the door. "I can't hear you!"  
  
The door opened just then, and I fell forward. "Give me some time, wouldja!" Just then, my mom walked up, giving us a confused glance. I began to stand as Gordo looked over at me and continued. "A girl takes more time, Gordo." And with that, the door shut in my face. My mouth dropped.  
  
"She's right Gordo. Now that she's getting older, it might take her some more time," she explained.  
  
First of all, I know that slight tone in her voice, the "she has her own feminine business to take care of now" voice, that I have heard her use on Matt. Secondly, I would DIE if she ever said that to Gordo...wait, she just did! I just decided it's times like this that being in your best friend's body has its advantages. 


	5. With Wings?

A/N: I decided to post 4 & 5 at the same time. : ) They go together. I will continue to keep the story as confusing-less as possible. Have fun reading on. (I have a feeling girls might find these chapters more comical than guys, but who knows?) OH AND from here on out, these two will start to get into each other's heads and experience life as one another...whether they like it or not...  
  
Chapter 5: With Wings?  
  
~~  
  
I almost contemplated going to the bathroom in the dark, but it's bad enough being in a GIRL'S body but having to deal with this mess in the dark?  
  
I stepped toward the toilet, lifting the seat and adjusting the toilet paper. Stalling. Suddenly, the urge came upon me again and I had some choices to make: a) do the I-need-to-go dance, b) just GO, or c) pee Lizzie's pants and avoid it altogether.  
  
I opted for "b", but not without doing a little of "a" first. I fumbled with the belt, and yanked it off altogether, tossing it to the ground. Without thinking about it, I forced the zipper open, pulled the pants down, and sat, finally, on the toilet. Ahh....sweet release.  
  
~~  
  
I HEARD IT! I finally heard the sound of urination. He actually did it. He peed in MY BODY! How dare he!  
  
~~  
  
After about a millennia and a half, I was done. I looked over at the toilet paper and then at the door. I didn't even look down. I felt like there was something missing...well there was, really. I just wasn't sure how to go about cleaning myself up-I mean, without being totally grossed out or seeing anything. I was determined not to be TOO scarred after this whole experience!  
  
I reached over and slowly pulled the toilet paper from the roll.  
  
~~  
  
I tapped my foot impatiently. "Come on, Gordo," I mumbled to myself. I paced and waited. As I passed the mirror, I noticed my reflection in mirror. Correction. I noticed GORDO's reflection in the mirror. I stepped up to it, looking closely into the mirror's face. Well, I've always liked Gordo's eyes...and now I have them-on loan...and his hair wasn't so bad, I guess. I ran my fingers through it. The curls flipped right through my fingers and I jerked when I came to a couple of knots. He needs conditioner. Does he ever use it? Maybe a brush. Some mousse. His hair had serious potential. I could really do something with this hair. I just decided, if not for me, then for him, that I really need to start using conditioner. Well, HE does anyway. I use conditioner. Great conditioner. And for his sake (and mine) I hope he continues to use it...wait! That would require a shower....ohmigoodness! It was bad enough he was in the bathroom! I dashed out of the room and bumped right into me...I mean him...I mean....UGH.  
  
~~ (a moment or two before)  
  
Standing up, I pulled the pants back on and flushed the toilet. That was ...disturbing. And strangely enough, I truly felt like I had lost my manhood just now. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I did what I came to do. Pee and go. Now I feel better. I put the belt back on and washed my hands.  
  
Looking into the mirror, at the blond strands that framed my face, the pink lip-gloss precariously placed upon my lips, the orange crew neck shirt I was dressed in, and the dangling ornaments around my wrists, I can't help but think...Orange really IS the new pink. Shaking my head of such thoughts (what has gotten into me?), I look again in the mirror and sigh deeply. Turning toward the door, I walk out of the bathroom. No sooner had I opened the door, I was bombarded by Lizzie. She fell to the floor and I was surprised that even in another body, Lizzie was as clumsy as ever.  
  
Now you're up to speed on the situation. Sometimes, I wondered if Lizzie was.  
  
~~  
  
"You can't take a shower!"  
  
"What?"  
  
I stood up and faced him. "A shower. You can't take one as me!"  
  
Gordo looked around and I could see the panic he felt on MY face. "LIZZIE," he hissed, when the coast was clear. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about conditioner. I'm talking about you being stuck in-"  
  
"Oh no. We're not staying this way THAT long," he interrupted, as he walked past me and into my room. I followed.  
  
I picked up the phone and started dialing.  
  
"What are you doing?" Gordo asked.  
  
"Calling your house. I need to see if it's okay to have dinner here," I said, putting the phone to my ear. I couldn't believe I was calling to ask permission to stay at my own house.  
  
His mom answered the phone. "Hi, Mom!" I started, unsure of what to say. "Um, can I stay over Lizzie's for dinner?....NO? Why?" I began to panic. "Who's coming over? ...But we're working on a school project?...Ya know, that paper I was telling you about?...GREAT! THANKS! BYE!"  
  
Tossing the phone on the bed, I flopped onto the covers.  
  
"I forgot that my aunt is coming over," Gordo explained. He sighed. "Well, time for me to ask if 'Gordo' can stay over."  
  
Gordo walked out the door and down the steps. Again, I followed him. We found Mom in the kitchen, preparing dinner. ~~  
  
She turned to look at us. "Hi, kids."  
  
"Hi," I replied, with a small nervous wave of the hand. "Is it okay if Gordo stays for dinner?"  
  
She stopped and gave me a look. Uh oh. She knows.  
  
"Well...of course it's okay!" She smiled. I breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Thanks, Mom!" With that I turned around to leave with Lizzie, but just then, Mrs. McGuire spoke again.  
  
"Lizzie. Can you come here?" We both slowly turned around.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Here, Gordo. You can help set up the table," she said, handing Lizzie a pile of plates, thinking she was talking to me.  
  
"Um, I..." she looked at me, then at her mom. "Okay." I heard the strain in my voice as she secretly panicked, and I know she was praying her mom wouldn't say anything personal or embarrassing. I was too!  
  
"Lizzie. I'm going to the store after dinner. Did those pads I got for you work fine? I noticed you're almost out and if you want I can buy you some other ones."  
  
...Pads...? That's it? She wanted to ask me about PADS? That wasn't so bad. Lizzie had LOTS of pads. Pink ones, blue ones, ones that were fuzzy, ones with glow in the dark stars, spiral ones, art ones. I've seen lots of them in her room and in her locker. They seemed to work out fine!  
  
"Yeah. They work great," I answered as naturally as I could.  
  
"Great. How about the ones with wings?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The pads with wings. Honey, did you want to try those ones?" She continued taking out the silverware as she talked to me.  
  
I wasn't sure what she meant. With wings? Oh! WINGS! Angels, fairies, that kind of thing. Girlie things...yeah, of course!  
  
"Sure! Pads with wings on them. Sounds great. Whatever you want." I was more than uncomfortable as she handed me the forks and knives. I was sure there was something I was missing from the conversation.  
  
~~  
  
I had been straining to hear what my mom said to Gordo, but she was good, real good, at keeping her voice to a private low. When Gordo finally appeared, he found me crouched near the wall, trying to eavesdrop.  
  
"What did she want?" I asked, helping him to set the table with silverware.  
  
"Oh, it was no big deal. She just asked if I wanted some paper."  
  
I stopped, confused. "Paper?"  
  
"Yeah. She asked me if I wanted paper with," he shrugged, "wings on it? You don't have angel notebooks do you?"  
  
"Um, no...." I didn't get it. As he finished setting up the table, I wracked my brain for what on earth my mom was talking about.  
  
Paper with wings??  
  
"She asked if I wanted paper?" I said to myself, or rather, said to Gordo- self.  
  
"Yeah." He looked over at the kitchen to make sure our conversation wasn't being overheard. It would have sounded pretty odd to anyone who didn't know the situation, and in this case that was EVERYONE. "She asked if I-YOU- wanted to try out the pads with wings." He nonchalantly put down the last fork and knife.  
  
I paled and then turned red. PADS WITH WINGS?! SHE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT PAPER!! Gordo thought she meant pads OF PAPER! OH NO! How embarrassing!!  
  
"Oh...yeah...pads of PAPER," I nervously laughed. "Of course." 


	6. At the Dinner Table

A/N: Hey all. I am finally posting (two more chpaters) and I apologize for the wait. It's been a busy week. Anyway, the feedback from each and every one of you has been AMAZING. You all are wonderful. Keep it up because when I started getting more responses, I started writing more chapters.  
  
Chapter 6: At the Dinner Table  
  
~~  
  
"Matt, eat your dinner," Mrs. McGuire said.  
  
Lizzie's little brother made a face. "I don't like it. It's so bland, so tasteless. I'm a man of flavor."  
  
"You're a man-a BOY-about to be grounded if you don't eat up," she replied.  
  
Lizzie and I tried to eat as normally as possible, but we both ended up wolfing down our meals at the speed of lightning.  
  
"Whoa, Lizzard-breath," Matt started. "I should call you dog-girl, because you're HOUDNING that DOWN!" He laughed at his own joke, but I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't have a little brother.  
  
Lizzie huffed, and looked over at her brother's barely picked at meal. "Yeah! Well, I should call you booger-boy because you're so PICKY!"  
  
~~  
  
OOPS...Did I just said that...out loud??  
  
~~  
  
Everyone stopped and we all looked over at Lizzie...actually we all looked over at GORDO (me!).  
  
"Gordo?" I said pointedly through my teeth, annoyed. "You're stealing my insults." I laughed nervously and shrugged. "I told him to say that. Sorry!" I picked up my glass and gulped down my milk. "Can we be excused?"  
  
"Lizzie, why would you tell Gordo to say that?"  
  
"I just wanted him to...see how it was to have a little brother!" I said, desperate for any excuse and feeling horrible that I was getting in trouble!!  
  
"Having a little brother is more than just being mean," Mrs. McGuire scolded.  
  
"Yeah, and-"  
  
"Matt!" She shot back. "You, mister, need to stop being so mean to your sister, too. Eat your dinner."  
  
"Sorry, Mrs. McGuire. I should have known better," Lizzie said, as me.  
  
This was seriously weird. I just wanted to escape the situation. First, Lizzie made me out to be a FLIRT in front of Ethan, now she is making me out to be a FOOL in front of her parents.  
  
~~  
  
"That's okay, Gordo. It's a little out of your character, though."  
  
I shrugged. Gordo looked at me and gave me a 'she's right' look.  
  
"Well, LIZZIE, maybe we should finish that paper we started today?" I said, straightening up in my seat and trying to redeem Gordo's character.  
  
"Actually, I think Lizzie has had enough of friends over for one night," Mom said.  
  
WHAT?!  
  
"But...but," Gordo stammered. He was really starting to sound like me. "I need Gordo here. I...I can't do this without him!"  
  
"Yeah, Mo...Mrs. McGuire. Besides, I can't go home. My parents, well...um. They have some company over. I can't interrupt that!"  
  
"Gordo, it's your home. You can always go there," Dad said, putting a bite into his mouth.  
  
"Just for a little longer? PLEASE?" Gordo begged, pouting my lips out and making me look desperate.  
  
Mom sighed. "Fine. Till eight."  
  
"THANKS!" We both chimed in unison as we jumped from our seats and ran to my room.  
  
~~  
  
That was way too close for comfort.  
  
"What were you thinking?" I asked Lizzie as I sat on her bed.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't help it," she replied, pouting as she sat next to me.  
  
"We gotta get out of this. I don't think we can stall any longer," I stated.  
  
Lizzie bit her (my) lip and looked down. She picked up the book and flipped through the ancient pages. "I hate this book. I hate being in a boy's body. It's so...uncomfortable." She adjusted her seat.  
  
"Tell me about it," I murmured, adjusting my own seat and trying to get used to the body I was in. "I have boobs."  
  
"Yeah, and you better not look at them!"  
  
I rolled my eyes. ME!? What about HER!? I have anatomy too.  
  
"You're not the only one who has a naked body under your clothes, Lizzie."  
  
"Please," Lizzie said with disgust. "I'm not going to peek." She crossed my arms and turned my face away.  
  
I rolled Lizzie's eyes. Unbelievable. "Tomorrow is Saturday," I started.  
  
~~  
  
I looked over. "So?"  
  
"Maybe I can spend the night! I mean-maybe YOU can spend the night."  
  
I pondered this. "But...I don't know. I think my mom already thinks we're acting weird."  
  
"We're teens. Of course we're acting weird. Just ask."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, okay, GORDO. I will. I will just walk my little boy body down and ASK. MOM, can GORDO stay the night?"  
  
"I meant I'LL ask--as YOU...and wait-'little boy body'? I don't have a 'little boy body'."  
  
"Big boy...whatever! You know what I meant."  
  
With a small huff, Gordo got up and walked to the door, opening it a crack.  
  
~~  
  
"MOM!" I suddenly called.  
  
"Yeah?" Came Mrs. McGuire's voice.  
  
"Can Gordo spend the night?"  
  
"What?" She opened the door some more and looked at me...her daughter.  
  
"Can Gordo stay the night? Tomorrow's the weekend." I swallowed hard and felt as though she could see right through the facade. I looked back at Lizzie who smiled and held the big book up, as though we were happy studying and learning something new and exciting. It was excessively cheesy but it worked.  
  
"Sure, Gordo. You can stay if it's okay with your parents," she said, directing her comment to the 'boy' who was on her daughter's bed. "But Lizzie, no more pinning your friends against Matt," she added, pointing directly at me.  
  
"Um, okay, Mom. Sorry."  
  
"I'm going to the store soon," she smiled, as she closed the door.  
  
"Okay," we said in unison as she closed the door.  
  
"Okay, that bought us some time," I said, sitting at the vanity table.  
  
"It sure did," Lizzie wistfully replied as she once again dialed my house and asked to stay over. My mom, over the phone, was apparently somewhat reluctant but finally caved in with a 'sure.'  
  
"Hey, let's look on the Internet! Maybe they have stories about this there!" Lizzie suggested excitedly as she jumped up and ran to her computer.  
  
We started with Yahoo! and tried every search engine from there for body switch stories...nothing. Nada. ZIP!  
  
Frustrated, I fell back on Lizzie's bed, her blond hair getting all over. "We're doomed."  
  
"Way to go, us. Now I will never get Ethan. You'll never flirt with him for me!" Lizzie stated in exasperation (hearing my own voice gushing about Ethan wasn't something I liked hearing).  
  
I gazed over at her. "I think you're missing the big picture here."  
  
"The big picture is..." she stopped suddenly and felt her (my) stomach. "Is that I'm hungry again."  
  
"Oh...yeah. Welcome to my appetite," I said, sitting up.  
  
"But we just ate the biggest dinner. Where do you pack it all?"  
  
"I'm a growing boy. You wanna get something or not?"  
  
"YEA!"  
  
~~  
  
In the kitchen, we took out chips, salsa, cookies, and some soft drinks and headed back upstairs. We sat on my bedroom floor munching away and talking (well, to be honest, I was doing more of the munching and Gordo, as me, was doing more of the talking).  
  
"Let's just wait this out. Get some rest and then in the morning...we might have switched back. Then we can forget this ever happened!"  
  
I nodded, a cookie in my mouth, chips in one hand, soft drink in another. 


	7. You Think I'm Wearing Those?

A/N: Another chapter for your reading pleasure. Have fun! Keep up the submittals of the responses. Makes me feel like writing more and I love hearing what you all have to say!  
  
PS: I think I forgot to say this but I see it on everyone's work. I don't own anyone that pertains to Lizzie McGuire, the show, the movie, the myth. (Well...I do own Gordo in my own little fantasy world but I don't think that creates any legal issues).  
  
Chapter 7: You Think I'm Wearing Those?  
  
~~  
  
"Here," Lizzie (as me) said, handing me her pajamas, which were pink. "I wear these to bed."  
  
For herself (in my body), she got out an oversized *NSYNC shirt and some old shorts.  
  
"You think I'm wearing THOSE?" I asked incredulously at her choice of attire.  
  
"Yeah...what's wrong with these?"  
  
"Lizzie, I can't wear a boy band shirt, and, and...girl's shorts!"  
  
Lizzie slumped and looked over at me. "I don't have anything else. And if you haven't noticed yourself, you're kind of on the slim side, Gordo!"  
  
I gasped, moving her blond bangs out of my eyes. She was practically calling me SCRAWNY! First the little boy comment. Now this.  
  
"Fine, fine. I'll see what I can do." She left the room and then walked right back in. "I can't."  
  
"You can't what?"  
  
"I can't get you any other clothes. You don't know where they are and I can't snoop around as YOU."  
  
"Well..." I thought a moment. "Maybe you can sleep in my boxers," I said to myself, then thought against it as Lizzie would probably prefer to be in some sort of night attire.  
  
"Why don't you just go to your house and-"  
  
"Lizzie," I hissed (her voice sounding instead of my own). "It's late at night now."  
  
"Just wear these-er-let ME wear these. It's for one night!"  
  
I looked up at the ceiling. "I can't believe this..."  
  
"THANKS!" she chirped in my voice before I could reply as she dashed for the bathroom. Before she shut the door, she said, "Oh, and get dressed with the lights off...oh, and don't touch anything...on me! Oh, and-"  
  
"I got it. Gees. And, and...same to y-" but the door was already closed before I could finish my sentence.  
  
~~  
  
Okay, so here I was. In my bathroom. In my best friend's body. With my clothes in hand. I swallowed hard. Oh come on, Lizzie. It's like seeing Gordo in his bathing suit. And gees it's not like you haven't seen him in his underwear...of course we were both 4 but still! He wore layers so this would take a while. I took off the first shirt (button down), now left with one long sleeve under a tee shirt. I flipped both shirts over his head, patting down his wild curly hair. I looked into the mirror then down at the body.  
  
~~  
  
I closed the door, locked it, and turned to the pajamas on the bed and shook my head. Pink...not my color.  
  
Alright, Gordo, I told myself. Be mature about this. She is a girl and she will have girl anatomy. Just as you have-  
  
At my sudden dawning on realization, I ran to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Li-um. Gordo! GORDO!" I hissed.  
  
She opened the door. "What?" Wow. She already took off my shirts.  
  
"Let's just sleep in our clothes."  
  
"Gordo. You already went to bathroom as me. How bad is changing my clothes?" she replied, closing the door, but I pushed it back open.  
  
"But, but...I can't do this. We can't do this. Let's go look at that book again. Come on!" I shrieked in her voice as I pulled her hand towards her room.  
  
"Gordo!" She snapped as she pulled back my hand. "You're acting ...like me. It's creepy. Stop it. Let's just...get dressed and go to bed."  
  
She shook her (my...MY!!!) head and went back into the bathroom mumbling, "This is totally Freaky Friday..." under her breath.  
  
I walked back into the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to scream out loud in frustration.  
  
~~  
  
I fumbled with the button and the zipper before I finally managed to slip the pants off. This wasn't so bad. This was easy. Being a boy was...wait...did I just feel something? EWW! I just felt Gordo's...behind! The boxers slipped a bit as I pulled the pants down, and I pulled them back up so fast, that I almost gave myself a wedgie. I shuddered and made a face.  
  
I pulled my *NSYNC shirt over my best friend's head and reached for the shorts. I squeezed into them, not realizing just how TIGHT they were going to be. Okay, so I was wrong. (It's been known to happen.) Gordo isn't as skinny as I thought he was. Perhaps it was all the salsa I ate...  
  
~~  
  
I slipped the orange shirt over my head, deciding I wasn't going to fumble with her *bra*, and looked up at the ceiling as I reached for the pajama shirt. I was determined not to check out Lizzie's body while I was stuck in it. I was going to be the friend I always was (a darn good one) and not take advantage of the situation. Right!  
  
I slipped the shirt on. Mission one. Complete.  
  
Now for the belt, the wretched belt I had so much trouble with when I needed to use the bathroom before. Well, I slipped it off easier this time (I wasn't racing against the bladder) and slipped down the pants. I looked at Lizzie's legs. Nice. Longer than they look really. And she color coordinated her underwear. Orange with-wait, no. No looking! I took the pajama bottoms and slipped them on, letting out a breath.  
  
This whole ordeal was actually incredibly tempting and if we do change back tomorrow I might regret this, but... Hey! It's like seeing her in a bathing suit...right? NO!  
  
Just before the war between the little Angel on my right and the little Devil on my left ensued, there was a knock at the door. It was Mrs. McGuire.  
  
"Here ya go sweetie," she whispered, handing me a box of...MAXI PADS.  
  
"Um, thanks."  
  
"With wings!" She whispered with a smile (so "Gordo" wouldn't hear I'm sure).  
  
She left me with The Box, as my face paled, then turned beet red. I walked to the vanity table and sat down, staring at The Box and the picture on the front. The picture of the "revolutionary maxi pad with dry weave and wings" which were supposedly for "protection". Revolutionary? Protection? What was this...a battle??!!  
  
Wait...pads with wings? Immediately the conversation from earlier came to mind...OH NO! That's what Mrs. McGuire was talking about! I almost began to hyperventilate.  
  
Oh please, please, PLEASE don't let ...*you know*... happen while I'm in Lizzie's body. PLEASE!  
  
~~  
  
I gathered up Gordo's clothes, feeling accomplished and less weirded out than I probably should have felt, and walked back to my room. He attempted to hide something behind his back as I walked in. I smiled and gave him a confused look.  
  
"What are you doing? A girl a few hours and already doing make up?"  
  
"Um, yeah. Haha...Look at all this gloss..." He stammered, lifting up at least four kinds with one hand. Whatever he was hiding behind his back with the other hand fell on the floor.  
  
I almost screamed. "What is that!?"  
  
"Oh...um, you don't know...?"  
  
"GORDO! Why do you have those?!" Well, naturally he has them because there doesn't go a DAY without me being completely and utterly humiliated by something...this time it was my mother.  
  
"Your mom gave them to me," Gordo spat out, embarrassed himself. Knowing him, he would probably plead ignorance than plead realization of his "pads of paper" comment earlier.  
  
"You're not supposed to see these!" I scolded, snatching them up and throwing them into the closet.  
  
Gordo sighed, trying to regain his composure, no doubt. "It's just a part of nature, Lizzie. Y-You should know that. I mean...it's what girls need to deal with...right?" Then, with my eyes, he gazed up at me, in an almost pleading manner. "Lizzie...you're not going to-"  
  
"NO! I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you!" I pulled at the dark mop on my head in frustration and mortification. This can't be happening.  
  
Oh, please, please PLEASE don't let me start * (my period )* with Gordo in my body! PLEASE!  
  
I reached for the book.  
  
~~  
  
Doing anything we could to change the subject, Lizzie and I looked through the mysterious book that had brought us into this switched state. What if it's one of those 'if-you-don't-change-back-in-twenty-four-hours-you'll- stay-this-way-for-all-enternity' deals. Together, we thought of every other possible idea as we tried to make sense of the whole book, from the cover to the very blank pages. NOTHING. Nothing helped. There were no clues. No magic words. Maybe we did just need to ...sleep it off. 


	8. I don't sleep with animals

Chapter 8: I don't sleep with animals.  
  
A/N: HEY! Sorry it took me so long to post. I have been finishing up some really super hectic summer classes. BUT now I'm done. Hey, if you want an email update on when I post more chapters, just email me at jaylancie@aol.com to request to be put on the list (OR include it in your feedback when you submit one, but then everyone can see your email instead of just me. Whatever you choose to do). In this chapter there is reference to events that happened with Lizzie and Gordo and friends but they're made up. ENJOY!  
  
Also, Ch. 9 is pretty long and needs to be changed somewhat so I will work on getting that and Ch. 10 up ASAP!! I have also been working on two other fics to be posted maybe.  
  
* * *  
  
I stretched in my bed snuggling next to a stuffed animal and sighing. Wait...I don't sleep with animals. My eyes popped open and I looked around me. I saw my real body sprawled on the ground next to the bed I slept on, with the blanket twisted around my body and my arms flung about, snoring. Yep... I was still stuck in Lizzie's body, and yep...I had to pee...again. I flung the sheets from the bed, feeling greatly disappointed, as I trudged to the bathroom.  
  
Staring at the toilet again, I wondered if it wasn't all just a dream. Was I really doing all this? Was I really Lizzie? I looked into the mirror at Lizzie's less than perfect morning face. I ran the water and rinsed off my face, looking again. The cold water woke me up some and I stared into Lizzie's eyes. I dried up and lifted the toilet seat.  
  
~~  
  
I rolled over and my face hit carpet. Opening my eyes, I noticed I was on the floor. I sat straight up and felt my head, face, and body...all Gordo's. DARN! I pouted and flung myself under the blanket. I hate this! Are we going to be stuck like this for the rest of our lives!? I can't be Gordo!  
  
I peered over the blanket to see Mr. Snuggles on my bed. I stood up and took him in my hands, sighing. I looked over as the bathroom door opened and Gordo emerged.  
  
"Well, bad news is," he started, as he shut my bedroom door and turned to me (well, turned to himself really), "we're still in each other's bodies. Good news, you haven't had, well..." He leaned over a bit and whispered, "The, ya know, the...* thing * yet. Phew." He made a direct implication and slid into the seat at the vanity table.  
  
"GORDO! You're not supposed to know about that kind of stuff," I pouted, a little crabby and a LOT embarrassed. What, he was a girl for a night and now he thinks we can have Girl Talk?  
  
"Hey. I'm just trying to get it out in the open, Lizzie." He flipped my blond hair and turned away from me.  
  
"Well, let's keep it NOT out in the open. This is...so wrong," I mumbled, trudging to the bathroom unconsciously, fuming with frustration.  
  
"Wait, what're you doing?" Gordo asked me, following me out the door.  
  
"Bad news, I have to go to the bathroom. Good news, I don't have to go number 2," I stated in sarcastic reference to his statement from before, as I closed the door in his face and locked it.  
  
~~  
  
She just shut the door in my face. I stood there staring at the wood. Okay, Gordo. DON'T FLIP. It was bound to happen. And is this the worst thing? I mean...I just hope we lose our memories when we get back into our own bodies-and we BETTER get back into our own bodies soon.  
  
I stood and listened by the door before Matt came up and began teasing me loudly and obnoxiously. I knew Lizzie wouldn't go to the bathroom (as me) if she knew I was by the door so I left, begrudgingly.  
  
I flopped on Lizzie's bed, crossing her arms over HER chest as I stared out the door. Then, something caught my eye on the floor. Under the bed, sticking out ever so slightly was a notebook. I've seen that notebook before. I've wondered about that notebook before. I've been curious about that notebook and I've seen Lizzie write in it before. Her diary.  
  
~~  
  
I decided it was time to check out Gordo's hair. Maybe I can hold it (the need to go to the bathroom). JUST MAYBE. I shook the mop on my head and watched the curls sway. I noticed my toothbrush on the counter and almost reached for it before realizing...I DIDN'T WANT GORDO'S MOUTH ON MY TOOTHBRUSH. I searched the cabinet and drawers for an extra one and finally found a really cheap, unused one somewhere in the back of the drawers. It was bright orange and the bristles were harder than an algebra test.  
  
I softened it up with water, applied my toothpaste, and tried not to brush too hard.  
  
~~  
  
Well, I AM Lizzie, now. Right? So, it wouldn't necessarily be wrong. RIGHT? I looked over at the bathroom door as I slid the notebook from under the bed. As long as Lizzie doesn't see me...  
  
Then my conscience kicked in. I couldn't peek at her body so why was I peeking at her diary? It just wasn't right. Besides, it'll all be one big ODE TO ETHAN and who needs that?  
  
~~  
  
As the water rushed down, the urge to go came upon me again. Oh no, I thought. I can't hold it any longer. (And I was NOT going to pee MY SHORTS as Gordo. How could I ever live that one down anyway??) I dropped the toothbrush, spat out whatever remained in my mouth of the toothpaste, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.  
  
With one swift move, I pulled down the shorts and boxers and onto the toilet and...yes, I was finally going to the bathroom as Gordo. Wait, guys don't sit down!  
  
~~  
  
Oh, what the heck. I know I will regret this move if I don't do it, so...here goes. I slowly opened the notebook and entered another realm of Lizzie's world: her mind.  
  
'Monday Today was horrible. We paired up with people during Math and Kate got paired with Ethan. She made some joke about me and everyone laughed, including Ethan. Why does she have to be so mean? And why would Ethan just follow along with it and laugh? Sometimes I wonder what I see in him....but he is SO HOT. I can't help it. It's like...a dark temptation (with great hair!). I paired up with Gordo and Miranda at first and that left an odd number of people so Gordo was forced to go with Veruca because she was left without a partner. Having two best friends is great but sometimes it is so hard to choose between the two. One is always left out when it comes to times like that. And Miranda didn't know the homework any better than me so I could have really used Gordo there. He is definitely the brains of our operation. : ) '  
  
I remembered that day. Boy, was I annoyed.  
  
I began to get sucked into Lizzie's world as I read on, loving it and hating it all at the same time.  
  
~~  
  
They don't sit down and I just did. EW! WEIRD! What do I do now? Do guys even...use toilet paper? EWWW! I wiggled a bit on the seat and then slowly stood up, biting my lip. I lifted Gordo's boxers and my shorts and flushed the toilet, shivering in disgust. I don't even want to explain how that felt.  
  
~~  
  
'Sometimes it's like, I just want to hang out with only Miranda and talk talk talk about boys boys boys, and sometimes I just want to hang out with only Gordo and talk talk talk...about, pretty much everything else. It's hard to explain but I have them both and I love it that way too! : ) '  
  
Wow. I had no idea she ever thought she needed alone time with either of us. Well, this entry was pretty dated-written months ago-and now she has her one-on-one time with me because Miranda isn't around. I smirked. Now she REALLY has some time to get to know me. Speaking of which, I looked back up at the bathroom door and flipped the notebook back under the bed as the door opened and Lizzie emerged, her expression twisted into a somewhat confused look.  
  
"What?" I asked, when she came in.  
  
"That was weird."  
  
I turned beet red. "Yeah, um. And now it's over. Can you get me out of those clothes? And what is that on my chin?!"  
  
Lizzie looked into the mirror. "Oh, toothpaste," she replied, wiping it off.  
  
"KIDS! BREAKFAST!" Mrs. McGuire called from downstairs.  
  
"Good. Food. I'm starving," Lizzie chirped as me as she made her way downstairs. Like I said, sometimes I wonder if Lizzie remembers she's in another body at times.  
  
"Hey! HEY! Get me out of those clothes!!" I called back frantically following her down the stairs and in to the kitchen. Too late. The remainder of the McGuire clan saw me in shorts too tight for me and an oversized boy band shirt. Snickers, I heard SNICKERS! AT ME!  
  
"Lookin' good Gordo," Mrs. McGuire said, with a smile as she handed Lizzie a plate of pancakes thinking it was me.  
  
"Yeah. He dashed down here before he could CHANGE," I said pointedly, giving Lizzie the look of death. She didn't have a very good record of making me look good while in my body.  
  
She mouthed 'sorry' and sat down to eat. I couldn't eat actually. I wasn't that hungry, which was different for me.  
  
~~  
  
Okay, so I was hungry and didn't change. I contemplated changing now but by this time everyone sat down and began eating so getting up now would just double the awkward situation. Instead, I poured the syrup.  
  
"Lizzie, why aren't you eating your breakfast?" Mrs. McGuire asked.  
  
"Um, I'm not hungry. Can I be excused to get ready?"  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For...the day?"  
  
Lizzie gave me the 'eat or she will bug you for hours' look, so I shook my head and said, "Nevermind. May as well eat a little something before the day starts." I took half the pancake and stuffed it in my mouth, smiling and nodding, stating a muffled, "This is good."  
  
~~  
  
...Thanks, Gordo. How do you translate that in PIG?  
  
~~  
  
I almost choked when I saw the silent, and somewhat creepy, Lanny standing next to me giving me an odd look and blinking a few times.  
  
"You're right, Lanny!" exclaimed Matt. "It did look better on the plate!"  
  
I spit out the rest of the pancake. "Hey!"  
  
"Lizzie!" Mrs. McGuire scolded. "That's gross. And what are you doing eating that fast anyway?"  
  
"I'm a growing girl," I stated, inwardly feeling creeped out that I just stated I was a "growing girl".  
  
"Come on, Lizzie. Just eat. We still have that THING to get to," Lizzie said, patting me on the shoulder and giving me an urgent look.  
  
"Can I be excused?" I asked in Lizzie's best sincere and pleading voice.  
  
Mrs. McGuire sighed. "Fine." 


	9. Getting InsideSomeone's Head

Chapter 9: Getting Inside...Someone's Head  
  
A/N: I forgot to say this last time, but THANK YOU to those who leave me such awesome feedback. YOU ROCK!! I have been trying to reply individually to each and every one of them but sometimes my computer is lame. I have been away but I'm back and with 4 new chapters. I have to tweek some of the later ones I have already written, but I will post ASAP. Don't forget to email me at jaylancie@aol.com if you wish to be put on the story updates list (if you don't just put this story on a review alert). Also, in the chapter there is reference to famous psychologist Albert Bandura. He is not a made up character but a very well known psychologist, who IS still alive. Anyway, this chapter is bit different than the rest but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. (**Though these next couple chapters may not be exactly like the others, I think you will enjoy reading what is to come**). (Lara, your email isn't working so I hope you see this update!)  
  
~~  
  
I decided I was done with her breakfast too, and as we walked upstairs the phone rang and Mom answered it. A moment or two later we heard, "GORDO! It's your mother!"  
  
"Uh oh," I mumbled, as I picked up the receiver from my room. "H- Hello...yeah, we just woke up. We have that paper to...well, no....I mean...But I...I...I...Alright."  
  
I was about to cry.  
  
"What?" Gordo urged as he sat on my bed and flipped my blond hair.  
  
"She wants me to go home. Something about...a lecture by Albert Bannera?"  
  
Gordo's expression lit up. "I completely forgot about that!"  
  
"Who's Albert Bannera?"  
  
"Albert BANDURA. He's a famous psychologist. He did all these experiments with kids and a Bobo doll and ...anyway, he-"  
  
"Still alive?"  
  
"YES! And they're seeing him speak today but they have to leave early. I gotta go!" He said in panic, standing up.  
  
"You have to go with them?"  
  
"Yeah. I mean, it's a long story but my dad's friend's daughter is coming and ...I have to stay with her. Hang out with her."  
  
A pang of jealousy hit me.  
  
"Like babysit?" I inquire nonchalantly.  
  
"NO. She's our age. I mean...well, she's forced to go to these things and-"  
  
"BUT YOU'RE NOT!"  
  
"AND," he continued impatiently. "Last time I saw her I said I'd keep her company at the next function she had to go to. She's pretty cool. I mean..." Then his face dropped. "You have to go for me! You have to be me!"  
  
"NO WAY!" I stated as I stood up, pulling at the shorts that were giving me, or rather Gordo's body, a major wedgie.  
  
"YES! I can't go as you, Lizzie. Come on!"  
  
"No way, Gordo. I can't be YOU for a day with people who know you better than anyone."  
  
"Trust me on this. My parents don't know me as well as you think they do. And Kelly, she's kind of tall, red head, green eyes. You can't miss her. Just act cool, and don't flirt with any guys. Just...keep quiet, be nice, and nod a lot."  
  
"GORDO! I AM NOT GOING!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Kelly asked you about you, David," Mr. Gordon said as he slid into the driver's seat.  
  
"Great," I mumbled, staring out the window and hating the situation. How could I be Gordo for an entire day on my own!? From the car window I saw 'Lizzie' waving at me and mouthing "It will be okay."  
  
I looked at the piece of paper Gordo gave me with foolproof 'I'm Gordo' material.  
  
It's Mom and Dad. Not Mr. or Mrs. Gordon. Kelly and I snuck out of a speaker last year and got ice cream at Lucky's Fine Dairy. I ordered vanilla, and she got Rocky Road. Her favorite color is purple...and pink. She wears blue a lot though. She twirls her hair in her fingers and sometimes it gets stuck in small twisty knots she doesn't realize she has for a few minutes. Try not to laugh. I bite my lower lip to help control that for me. Oh, yeah. Kelly's parents are Mr. and Mrs. Franklin. Don't make jokes about Benjamin, or cartoon turtles or anything. They get that a lot. If she asks about emailing her, tell her that the FWDs she sends are great. I loved the one about the aliens. She has three brothers and one sister. She's the fourth child. So it's Bryant, John, Christine, Kelly, and Stevie.  
  
Stevie??  
  
Don't ask about Darren...her ex. She hates to talk about it, but when she gets on her tangent about him, I just nod. It's the best thing for her. She just needs an ear.  
  
What? How would I have even known to ask about...Darren???  
  
I raised an eyebrow. I think I know way too much about this girl. Seems like Gordo has a crush on her. I smiled. Gordo likes a giiirrrlll, I sang in my head. Then my smile faded. I felt just a TAD jealous. Just a tad. Maybe territorial. I mean...the last time Gordo liked a girl she didn't want him until it was too late (Ugh, PARKER) to tell him she made a mistake and shouldn't have rejected him. And I guess I feel like...well, no girl will be good enough. And about this Kelly girl anyway, he's never mentioned her before. Oh wait. This must be one of his 'private' things. I remember when he went through that phase where he hid his girlfriend from me and Miranda because he needed to have something to himself, something private from us.  
  
Hm...well, this could be interesting. I continued to read his list as the car continued on (toward Kelly).  
  
If she asks what I'm doing next summer, "Going on a road trip with my Grandma!" And finally, have fun. Being me isn't so bad. :-)  
  
I smiled. I know, Gordo, I thought. I know.  
  
~~  
  
I held my breath so long, my body jolted with the realization it wasn't getting oxygen and I let out a major breath. She's out. OUT AS ME. FOR REAL. On the worst possible weekend. My Psychology Speaker Kelly Weekend. I twisted my hands together over and over and paced. I've never told Lizzie about Kelly but it isn't a big deal because Kelly is only a friend...and friend who I think likes me...and maybe Lizzie can help with that because she flirts with everyone else (BUT ME) enough to flirt FOR me right? I think so and besides I don't think it should be awkward, I mean, after all I can have other (girl) friends, right? She can do this, right? I think so, and besides, here I am stuck as her and now everyone is...  
  
I looked around the living room and saw Matt, Creepy Silent Boy, and Mr. and Mrs. McGuire...  
  
Staring at me.  
  
"Haven't you ever seen a girl pace around before?" I said with a huff.  
  
"Not like that Lizzie," Mr. McGuire said with a small huff of a laugh as he walked off.  
  
"You look like a worried parent, honey. Is everything okay?" Mrs. McGuire asked.  
  
"You're right, Lanny. Girls are an entirely different species," Matt replied to non-existent dialogue.  
  
"No, Mom. I'm okay," I replied, walking upstairs to Lizzie's room.  
  
I had to get my mind off this. Maybe going to the mall or for a walk or on her roller blades or on the Internet or watching TV or doing her paper or...  
  
I looked towards the corner of her bed.  
  
Or maybe, I can get inside Lizzie's head...  
  
~~  
  
"Here we are!" Chimed Mrs. Gordon as she saw the huge hotel we were going to attend said speaker: Albert Bannera, Pantura, Banana? Whatever.  
  
I slid out of the car. "David, you look nice today. Are you looking to impress someone?" Mrs. Gordon said with a smile, emphasizing the last two words.  
  
STOP! THIS IS JUST AS BAD AS MY OWN PARENTS!  
  
"No. My fashion sense has just reached a higher level," I stated, trying to match Gordo's own wit.  
  
Gordo didn't get to see what I dressed him in when I went to his house, but trust me it was better than what he would have chosen. Since I was the only one in his room to choose, I went for the button down white shirt (one button undone at the top), dark slacks, matching belt, and black socks with leather shoes (I opted against the shinier looking ones). We were seeing a very important psychologist, Albert Bermuda, so we had to look our best! Oh...and the hair...what wonders a comb will do. This was all despite what Gordo was telling me over the phone. He looked great, thanks to me. This Kelly girl better appreciate it.  
  
~~  
  
I felt so guilty. It was wrong. Reading her diary without her knowing and getting details I shouldn't know about. What if I find out something I don't want to know (or shouldn't know!)?  
  
I slowly cracked the notebook open, flipping to the first page. Scribbled all over the first page was:  
  
'This Diary Belongs To: LIZZIE! Keep OUT! This means you MATT and everyone who is NOT LIZZIE. PRIVATE! DO NOT READ FURTHER! For Lizzie's Eyes ONLY.'  
  
I flipped to the second page.  
  
'Weds.~Chicken Nugget Day! So, you're my 3rd diary in the past couple of years.'  
  
There's MORE? I thought as I read on.  
  
'I guess I just have a lot to say! Well, it's the start of another school year and what a start it was. I have most of my classes with Miranda and Gordo (thankfully) and some even with Ethan...3 3 3. He is just such a hottie.  
  
Mrs. Ethan Craft. Lizzie Craft...I don't know. Sounds good doesn't it?  
  
Anyway, today was, you guessed it CHICKEN NUGGET DAY. If this is any indication of my life, then you guessed correctly that NOTHING has been going on lately. It's been so boring...but I do love my chicken nuggets. :- ) I have to get ready before Miranda and Gordo get here. We're going to the movies! 3, Lizzie'  
  
'Thursday  
  
Went to the Digital Bean today and saw Mr. Digg with some lady. Could they have been on a date? It's so weird when you see teachers outside of school because you almost forget they have lives too. And he's one of the more normal teachers at school-and that's not saying much. I remember a couple of the teachers me and Miranda had crushes on last year. We did really well in those classes! (Wonder why! Hee hee...we totally just wanted to impress them so we did EVERYTHING like...10x times better than we would in any other class) I wonder if Gordo has ever had a crush on any of the teachers at school...Maybe I should ask him! HAHA!'  
  
No! I didn't! And why would it be funny if I did? I continued to read on. This was interesting, but not much different than what we already talk about though I don't know which teachers she had a crush on.  
  
~~  
  
"Albert Bandura, son, is one of the greatest behavioral psychologist still living today," Mr. Gordon explained as we walked into the hotel. I nodded and smiled politely as I zoned the rest of him out. As we made our way to the speaker, Mrs. Gordon handed me my ticket to get in. As we reached the huge fancy room, I heard, "You're not staying in there the whole time are you?"  
  
I looked up to be confronted with a girl a couple inches taller than me (and Gordo) with red hair pulled back into a braid, green eyes, and a kind of petite looking frame. This must be Kelly.  
  
"Hi! Um...no, I don't think so," I replied, my voice trembling a bit because I was scared I would screw this whole 'being Gordo' thing up.  
  
Behind her I saw three other siblings, and two parents. Her family no doubt. One was missing if I read the list right. Maybe it was Stevie?  
  
"So, David, wanna sit together?" She asked, leaning in to say, "In the back?"  
  
"Uh, sure!" Did she just call Gordo David?  
  
I saw Mrs. Gordon smiling at me. I felt as though everyone could see right through me! They could see I was an imposter! I felt like an alien landed on ...Earth. Or something.  
  
As I sat down next to Kelly, our families having seated themselves elsewhere, I stole glances at her, trying not to be obvious. A couple of times she smiled at me. Hey, girl. Don't be thinking I'm flirting. I'm just assessing you...for Gordo. The REAL Gordo!  
  
About half way into Albert Bandares' talk, Kelly nudged me. "Let's go," she whispered.  
  
"What about our parents?" I whispered back.  
  
She shrugged. "They never notice anyway. Come on!" She took Gordo's hand and led us away.  
  
Outside she breathed a sigh of relief. "I have been to so many talks in the past year. I honestly don't know why my parents want me to see all these speakers. It's not like I'm going to be a psychologist. Besides, I've already seen Albert Bandura."  
  
"Well, what do you want to be?" I ask, trying to carry on conversation as we walk around.  
  
"David!" She giggled. "An actress! You know that!"  
  
Of course. An actress because he wants to be a filmmaker. Should have guessed that one.  
  
"Remember our plan. You make the movies, I star in them!" She smiled as she led me out of the hotel.  
  
"Right." Please don't tell me that was their plan.  
  
~~  
  
'Friday  
  
YAY! Today is Friday and I have to go to school in a bit, but I got up early for once! The first dance is a couple of months away but I am going to work on getting Ethan to notice me so he will ask me! It could happen.'  
  
The dance? Oh yeah. The 'Gordo is too short to go with' dance. She MUST be talking about that one.  
  
'Today will be DAY 1 of this mission. Operation ASK OUT. Gotta go! 3, Lizzie'  
  
'Saturday  
  
Updates on Operation ASK OUT (OAO): -Ethan smiled my way 2.5 times (wasn't sure if he was zoning out one time so we'll count that as .5) -shared his chips with me between class -was found standing near my locker after class (but then walked away without even noticing me)  
  
So far, not so bad.'  
  
I sighed. So far, it wasn't anything terribly surprising. It would be like Lizzie to create such an ordeal for herself. I honestly don't know what she sees in Ethan Craft. Obviously brains mean nothing to her...which means I can't possibly mean anything to her because it seems like that's all I am (to her). I'm always the one reassuring her she's pretty and sweet and fun to be with. I've never heard her once say I was hot, or even cute. OH why do I care? This is my best friend I'm talking about!  
  
~~  
  
We ended up at Lucky's Fine Dairy. I checked my pockets but had NO MONEY.  
  
"You're not getting an ice cream, Gordo?"  
  
"Um, nah."  
  
"Did you forget your money?" Kelly asked, laughing sweetly.  
  
Wow. That was a bit forward, I thought.  
  
"Actually, I-"  
  
"I'll buy for you. Vanilla?" She pulled out $5 and nodded towards the flavors.  
  
Well, I'm more of a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough person but..."Sure. Thanks."  
  
We sat down. I felt like this was a DATE and I hated feeling out of my element. I just didn't know what to do.  
  
"So, how's school?"  
  
"It's good. How's it for you?" I replied.  
  
"OH! Wonderful. I auditioned for the Fall play."  
  
"And...?"  
  
"Oh, cast list goes up Monday. I'll email you if I get a part."  
  
"Oh, yeah. Email," I said, wracking my brain for what Gordo had told me about emails. "Hey! Loved the forward about the ALIENS!" I smiled and nodded, eating the vanilla ice cream to give me an excuse not to talk any more.  
  
"You did? That's one of my favorites, too. We have so much in common."  
  
Yeah...if liking one email qualifies as 'so much in common'. I don't know what it was, but I was getting a weird vibe from this girl. I'm usually a very easy person to get along with and I'm super friendly but if this girl went to my school, I think we would clash. She seems very sweet though. Maybe TOO sweet?  
  
Then I thought back to Ethan just then. Maybe that's why he isn't asking me out; I'm TOO sweet? I would have to ponder that one later. It wasn't long before the weird vibe I got from Kelly would be better explained. 


	10. Let's get jeans or something

Chapter 10: Let's get jeans or something.  
  
A/N: Had to put up these two together. Chapter 9 was LONG but this one is significantly shorter. Just how it happened. Don't worry. Chapter 12 makes up for it. It's pretty long. Once I get started I can't stop... Hope you like. Keep that fantastic feedback rolling. I love hearing what my readers have to say!  
  
~~  
  
Just as I was about to read another day in Lizzie's world, I heard Mrs. McGuire call for Lizzie. Putting the diary on the side I rushed downstairs.  
  
"I'm going out shopping. Would you like to come?"  
  
I opened my mouth to decline, but just then was pelted from behind with a small Nurf ball. "AH HA! The enemy has been targeted and hit!"  
  
"AH!" I exclaimed, turning around.  
  
"Matt, stop shooting at your sister."  
  
What happened? Matt and I have hung out before, we've bonded, we've had good times... He'd never do this to me, Gordo! But I can't explain that to him now. Turning back around I sighed.  
  
"Yeah. Fine, I'll go."  
  
~~  
  
"So, how are... Lizzie and Miranda?" Kelly asked with an unsure tone in her voice, glancing up from her ice cream.  
  
"Huh?" She has heard about US but we haven't heard about HER? "Um, good. They're good. Miranda moved but I still hang out with Gor-Lizzie," I replied, quickly correcting my error. I was curious about what Gordo said about us, considering I've never heard of her.  
  
"OOOH." Kelly's eyes wavered across the table. "You're like...really close huh?"  
  
"Yep." I licked Gordo's sticky lips as I pushed the empty ice cream cup to the side.  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Kelly lowered her almost finished cup of Rocky Road ice cream and looked directly into my eyes. "Gordo, I really like you and..."  
  
Oh no... The trail off "and." I know that trail off "and". I USE that trail off "and."  
  
I cleared Gordo's throat. "And?"  
  
"I don't know. I just...I get along with you really well. We always end up seeing each other on these trips our parents make us go to and...I don't know what I'm trying to say."  
  
REALLY? Because *I* know what you're trying to say!  
  
~~  
  
Oh, how I wish Lizzie had made ME a Top Ten Fool-Proof Lizzie List! I didn't know the first thing to being her.  
  
I just did what I always did in the car with my own parents. I didn't talk. Apparently, either Lizzie's a chatterbox or Mrs. McGuire is just nosy because soon she asked, "Are you okay sweetie. You're quiet."  
  
"Uh. Yeah Mom. I...just...um, have a headache."  
  
She nodded. "Ohh. You need some headache medicine. I have some." She began to dig through her purse as she drove.  
  
"NO! No. I'm okay. Just, um...I'm okay. Tired. Just tired."  
  
She sighed. "I knew Gordo shouldn't have spent the night. You never get any sleep when your friends spend the night. And what was with the clothes he wore this morning? I didn't even know he could fit in your clothes."  
  
I turned red. "Yeah. It was my idea. I shouldn't have done that. It was mean. Gordo doesn't REALLY dress like that. He practically went to the bathroom kicking and screaming when I made him wear it." I smiled a small, satisfied smile at redeeming my own character just a tad.  
  
"Well, honey, why did you make him wear your clothes? Isn't that kind of strange?" she said, a small confused smile on her lips. "I mean, why not just get your pajamas from home?"  
  
"It was late!" I stated.  
  
"Honey, calm down. It's okay. I was just wondering why Gordo was in your clothes this morning."  
  
"Because I made him sleep in them. I shouldn't have done that."  
  
Mrs. McGuire just smiled at me as we reached the mall.  
  
~~  
  
"So you like me more than a friend?" I asked, perhaps rather forward for Gordo but I had no problem since I really WASN'T Gordo.  
  
Kelly's face turned red. "NO! Yeah...NO! I don't know." She pushed her ice cream away. "Do you like me that way?"  
  
I think so...I'm not actually sure. He seems to like her.  
  
"Well...I...can't, I'm not...I...you're a great girl," I stammered.  
  
She smiled. "Thanks, David." She sighed. "ANYWAY, back to the speaker I guess."  
  
OH NO. Did I screw up as Gordo? Did he just miss his chance to have a girlfriend...or something? I let out a breath and pushed my seat back. I can't wait to get back to my own life.  
  
~~  
  
I followed Mrs. McGuire around as she tried on different shoes and clothes. She repeatedly asked my opinion of which I gave as truthfully as I could. Some of it was really bad choices!  
  
"I miss this, sweetheart. This hanging out," she told me after buying some shoes. She placed her arm around my shoulder.  
  
"I miss it...too...," I replied in a small voice.  
  
"You didn't pick out anything yet. Come on. I'll get you something."  
  
I really didn't want to have to face another girlie store again. My head was really starting to hurt this time and all I wanted to do was be at home...preferably in my own body.  
  
"OH! I KNOW! Let's buy you a new bra!"  
  
My mouth dropped and I looked around. What is it about a parent's voice that sounds like a MEGAPHONE when they say personal stuff?  
  
"No," I hissed, blushing.  
  
"You need a new one. Come on."  
  
I clenched my teeth. "I really, really don't think so."  
  
She sighed. "Fine. If you insist on getting one yourself-"  
  
"Jeans!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's get jeans or something. Uh, yeah!" I yanked her arm in the direction of Old Navy, praying there were no bras to be seen.  
  
Once in there, I had no idea what I was doing. There were 5,561 types of jeans for girls, it seemed.  
  
"Which ones should I get?" I asked myself.  
  
"The ones on sale," Mrs. McGuire replied from behind, holding up a pair of jeans with striped patterns on them.  
  
I gave a small smile. "I'll go try them on."  
  
In the dressing room, I slid on the new jeans, trying to pull them higher, like...somewhere near Lizzie's belly, but they stayed right on the hips. I looked at the tag. "Lowriders." How can anyone wear these? But...they looked pretty good (I must say) so I let Mrs. McGuire buy them for Lizzie. I'll wear them at school and-wait! What the heck am I saying??!! I plan on being back in my own body by then! 


	11. WHOA

Chapter 11: WHOA...  
  
A/N: These chapters haven't been my wildest but I think you will be humored by what's to come next.  
  
Finally me and Mrs. McGuire made it back home, out of that Consumerist Jungle.  
  
Just as I was thinking of reading just a tad more of Lizzie's diary, I rethought this. I really wasn't being a good friend by doing that. Mrs. McGuire came in after I put the jeans in Lizzie's room and called me down to do some chores before lunch.  
  
Matt was out with Silent Creepy Boy and "Dad" was painting a lawn gnome. And I was stuck doing chores after a mall excursion. I helped do the dishes and then took out the garbage, after which I asked if I could do 'my paper' upstairs. As I walked to Lizzie's bedroom, I wondered what could be happening with her and Kelly.  
  
Kelly. She was really nice and kind of cute and I wondered if she liked me, because she seemed like she did. Not many girls do, so the few that like me stand out. I wonder what Lizzie would think if she found that out. She would probably encourage me to do something about it. I smiled. Yeah, she probably would do just that.  
  
~~  
  
As we walked back into the speaker, just catching the last 10 minutes, Kelly sat quiet and I didn't dare look her way. I felt like something was unsettled with us-her and Gordo (DAVID, rather). The weird vibe, now I know what it was. It was her acting kind of flirty. EW. Is that what Ethan senses when I...wait, does Ethan sense anything but his hair? Nevermind. Moving onto a new thought.  
  
After the lecture, we all met up outside and Gordo's parents were invited to go to dinner with the Franklins, but they declined because Mr. Gordon had some thing he needed to attend to that evening. (THANK GOODNESS!)  
  
I smiled at Kelly. I really DIDN'T do Gordo any justice being him today.  
  
"Hey, I'll email ya okay?" What was I saying?! Emailing her would require telling Gordo I screwed up as him.  
  
"Thanks! I'll tell you what happens with the cast list," Kelly replied, walking away with her parents.  
  
"Kelly," I called after her. She turned around. I jogged a little ways up to her. "Listen, I'm sorry if I acted kind of weird in the ice cream place. You really are a great person. I got like...NO SLEEP last night so...I didn't really know what to say."  
  
She shrugged and looked down, a small smile played on her lips. "It's okay. I know what you meant by the question. I don't know what I was saying either. It's weird." She laughed, a little embarrassed. "I mean, you got Lizzie. She'd probably be better for you, you'd see her more than four times a year."  
  
NOW I didn't know what to say.  
  
"Oh, she's just a friend, Kelly. I-"  
  
"That's okay, David. Listen, I like you. I think you like me. But for now, long distance relationships aren't for me. Okay? We're still friends and that's all that counts!"  
  
WHOA. This conversation was going WAY too fast for me. Kelly was definitely the master of wrapping emotions up. Probably with a psychologically sound family as hers...if there is such a thing.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw our parents chatting amongst themselves and waiting for us.  
  
I just nodded a bit. "Okay."  
  
"Well....seeya!" She chirped, kissing me on the cheek so fast I almost missed it, then dashing off.  
  
WAIT TILL I TELL GORDO NOW!  
  
~~  
  
I sat at Lizzie's computer and decided to help her out with her paper. I had nothing better to do and I forced myself not to peruse her diary again. I chose an individual for her and started typing away. This was cheating in a sense but in our predicament, the last thing either of us really wanted to focus on was HOMEWORK and what's ONE assignment? Really.  
  
After completing two pages, having a late lunch with 'the family,' and going back to Lizzie's room to continue her paper, I looked over at the ancient book from the library. I narrowed my eyes on it. There was just something missing. I could feel it, but what?  
  
I worked on the assignment for another couple hours and jumped as the phone rang. I had a feeling it was Lizzie.  
  
~~  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"HEY! It's me!"  
  
"Lizzie," Gordo whispered over the phone. "What happened today?!"  
  
I took a deep breath and recounted EVERY DETAIL to which Gordo responded with a WHAT!?  
  
"She likes me, she actually said that?"  
  
"AND kissed you on the cheek. Really fast but it counts."  
  
Gordo didn't say anything for a moment.  
  
"And you said what?"  
  
I repeated the whole ice cream shop (fiasco), and everything in before and after.  
  
"I'm sorry! I screwed up as you again," I said, feeling bummed.  
  
"NO! No, you didn't. You probably acted just like I would have," he responded, though the tone of his voice sounded less reassuring.  
  
~~  
  
Okay, so I was a TAD upset I missed today. Okay, a little more than a tad. BUT it sounded like Lizzie had it all under control...as me. I looked at the clock. It was actually almost dinnertime (at my own house).  
  
"It's dinnertime," I said in a kind of bummed out tone.  
  
"Oh, yeah...we grabbed something on the way home," Lizzie informed.  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"So, anything new? You think we'll switch back by tomorrow?"  
  
"I don't know. I just think there is something we're missing, Lizzie," I responded, moving her bangs out of the way. "UGH. You need a haircut."  
  
She gasped. "You better not get one!"  
  
"I won't, I won't-"  
  
"Besides, I'm not the one with hair that's taller than me," she said, and I could hear her smiling over the phone.  
  
My mouth dropped at the insult, then creeped into a smile.  
  
"But it's soft, and that's okay," she said, trying to lighten the remark.  
  
Just then I thought back to her diary for some reason.  
  
"Yeah...I try. Move over Ethan."  
  
She laughed and then yawned. "Wow. I'm so tired. It's draining being you."  
  
"It can be. Not as much as it is being you. I had to go to the mall with your mom, I did chores, your homework..."  
  
~~  
  
"You did my homework? Cool! And...wait, mall? What for?"  
  
"Well, just because. But she bought me some new jeans."  
  
"You mean, she bought ME some new jeans," I corrected, sitting on his bed. I missed out on shopping!? "What do they look like? Are they flare or straight leg? Are they hip huggers, lowrise, stretch, what? Do they have designs or are they faded?"  
  
"Wait! I don't know!" I pulled them out of the bag. "They are...um, blue. With...um, some stripe patterns on the legs."  
  
"OH! They sound cute. Express?"  
  
"Express what? My excitement? Yeah I expressed excitement. I didn't want to be an ungrateful daughter."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "No, Gordo. Are they Express jeans?"  
  
"No. They're Old Navy."  
  
"Well, they sound cute. Wear them Monday."  
  
"Lizzie, I want to be out of your body by then."  
  
"Ugh! I know! Gosh, Gordo, what are we going to do?" I whined.  
  
"Ooo, ooo. No, no whining as me. My voice squeaks."  
  
Slumping my shoulders, I replied, "This is ridiculous."  
  
"Tell me about it. Listen, why don't you come over later."  
  
I nodded, slipping Gordo's shirt off. "Sounds good. I-"  
  
Just then, Gordo's dad knocked on the door. "David?"  
  
"Um, come in!" I said to Mr. Gordon. "Hold on Gordo," I whispered.  
  
Mr. Gordon popped his head in. "I could really use an extra hand here, son. I have some books and journals I need to sort through. Could you help with that?"  
  
My mouth was slightly open and I blinked a couple of times.  
  
"David?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Um, yeah, yeah! I just was about to go over Lizzie's-"  
  
"Well, this shouldn't take too long."  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
He smiled and closed the door.  
  
~~  
  
"What was that?" I asked when Lizzie got back on the phone.  
  
"Your dad wants me to sort through some books or diaries or something."  
  
"JOURNALS," I stated, knowing what she meant. Then feeling a tad guilty I read hers earlier. "They're psychology ones. People submit their research and stuff to them."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Just go help him and then come over. If it takes too long tell him you have to finish some homework."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Don't worry, Lizzie. He'll pretty much do all the work. He'll give you a list of titles and stuff and you have to look for them. Easy but tedious."  
  
"Thanks. Okay...I guess I'll see you later then."  
  
"Yeah. Good luck."  
  
I shook my head as I hung up. Ouch. It's going to be tough for Lizzie. THAT is one thing I don't miss doing. Eh, it'll be okay. My mind drifted to certain journal type book I was reading earlier. Oh, Gordo...You shouldn't....But.... Temptation took over.  
  
~~  
  
Gordo was right. I had a LONG list of books and journals and volume numbers and issue numbers and a bunch of books I had to sort through to get them. It was pretty easy for the most part but a lot more work than one would think. They were all off the bookshelf and on the floor and desk.  
  
"Uh, DAD, what happened to your bookshelf?"  
  
"I'm re-alphabetizing it, David," he responded, placing a couple on the almost completely bare shelf.  
  
I pouted as a looked at the top of the long list then at the millions of books in the room.  
  
~~  
  
I almost decided against it when I picked up her diary. All the entries I read this morning were girl fluff and deep down, I'm still a guy. I turned a random page and noticed my name immediately.  
  
'Tues.  
  
How can people be SO RUDE? Parker totally acted like she liked Gordo, who was supposed to come to the dance with me and Miranda, and so he asked her to the dance and she said NO. NO!? How dare she! He'd be the best date ever! And I asked her and she said it was because he was SHORT! You don't say NO because someone is short (and it's not like he was shorter than her, either! They are the same height). You say NO because you have another date or because your cat died... I felt SO BAD for Gordo. He even came to school with BOOTS on which weren't him at all and I felt horrible because he shouldn't have to prove himself to anyone, least of all some GIRL. Wow. Now I'm starting to sound like him when I talk about Ethan. I just don't know what to do to make Gordo understand he is perfect the way he is.'  
  
I smiled. 'Perfect the way he is'?  
  
'Besides, tall guys are great but Parker is missing the bigger picture, guys who are the same height as you have their advantages too. I mean, they're easier to dance with and I'm sure they're easier to kiss. : -P (But I'm not talking about Gordo...never kissed him). Just guys his height in general. Maybe I should ask Gordo to the dance with me...but I can't because that would leave Miranda out. I just want Gordo to feel better about himself! Besides, I know I would have fun. He's my best friend! No pressure to impress. He WOULD be the best date ever! Maybe I should.'  
  
I raised my eyebrows. I had mixed feelings with this entry but it was intriguing. I didn't know that the whole Parker situation was such a big deal to her.  
  
~~  
  
"So, that Kelly," Mr. Gordon started, "She's quite a girl isn't she?"  
  
I lifted my head and almost dropped the four books in my arm.  
  
"Um, what?"  
  
"Kelly. You seem to like her a lot."  
  
"She's really nice, Dad. We're just friends."  
  
"I know. I just think it's very nice you getting to know her. I've known her father since before college." I had a feeling this was something Gordo had heard before...many times.  
  
"That's...cool, Dad." I put the books down and looked at another title.  
  
"Yep. And I met your mother through a friend of his. She was quieter back then. But she was quite a lovely women." He turned back for a moment to say, "She still is of course. But, you know how first love is." Then he smiled. "Maybe you don't yet, but you will." He returned his attention to the bookshelf.  
  
I smiled a little and leaned against the desk, interested. Love. Romance. Now this was something I could talk about. "Tell me how you met Mom."  
  
He gave me a curious expression. "You want to hear it again?"  
  
Oh, I guess Gordo is supposed to already know about it. Oops. "Um, yeah, sure."  
  
He nodded. "It's a healthy inquiry, David. Well, it was a coffee house right after one of the longest days of my life..."  
  
~~  
  
I turned to a long entry.  
  
'Saturday! THE DANCE!  
  
Okay, so tonight was the dance. Ethan and PARKER ended up going together, so Me, Miranda, AND Gordo didn't get the dates we were originally hoping for. Before the dance Gordo came by to apologize. I don't think he should have to. He has insecurities too. He's just usually better at dealing with them. He asked me to go with him but I said I didn't go out with guys with...Blue eyes. : -P BUT I ended up going with my two amigos. At the dance, Parker actually apologized to Gordo and she didn't look like she even liked Ethan at the dance! HA! We could have easily swapped dates, Ethan for Gordo...but by then, I didn't want to be there with anyone else but Gordo (or Miranda). So, Gordo ended up dancing with Parker (a lot) and Miranda snuck in dances with Ethan. I just mostly watched at first because I really didn't feel up to dancing. It was like...I don't know how to explain it.  
  
'I danced with all of them a little bit here and there, but when it came to the slow dances, Parker kept dancing with Gordo almost the whole time, and Miranda ended up dancing once with Ethan and then this other kid who kept asking her. I should be happy that I actually danced one time with Ethan (but he kept talking about SHOES or something, so it wasn't exactly a magical moment) and once with this guy I've seen around school. I danced a couple times with Gordo but that was because Parker was asked by someone else to dance-it's confusing sounding but it was just a dance/partner swap all night. What a mess. I can't explain it but I felt...unhappy when Gordo was dancing with Parker. I just...everyone got what they wanted, right? But I didn't...what did I want? I guess I kind of felt jealous and confused. I just kept wanting to dance with Gordo and wanted him to notice me! But it's not like he doesn't-we talk ALL THE TIME and hang out, but it was different. UGH. Mom is calling me. I can't get any privacy in this house. 3 Lizzie'  
  
I sat back after that long entry. WHOA... This is the kind of stuff I was almost afraid to confront in her journal. My eyes bugged out, and I moved Lizzie's bangs away. She sounded like she felt something for me. Something other than just friends. Oh man. I felt a whirlwind of emotions. OKAY I was getting WAY too deep into this and reading more into it than I should. I need to put the diary down and walk away.  
  
~~  
  
I actually loved hearing about how Mr. and Mrs. Gordon met. It was so romantic and sweet...and made the time fly a lot faster. I sorted about 6 more books as I heard the rest of the story.  
  
"AND THEN, we got married."  
  
I looked up. "That's really..." Wait, what would Gordo say in this situation? "Great Dad. Thanks."  
  
"Oh, David. You're doing a good job there."  
  
I looked at the list. "Only 15 more to go!" Wow. That was quick. Wait...did I just say 'only' fifteen.  
  
The phone rang in the room and Mr. Gordon answered it. It was someone he knew so he began to talk and I went back to being bored and sorted through the books. I wondered what Gordo was doing as me. AS ME! My best friend was stuck in my body! I can't even dress the girl's locker room and my best friend (A GUY) is in my body. Just then, I put the books down, stood up, and took a pen, writing 'Sorry Dad. I have a headache' and leaving it on his desk as he talked on the phone. I just walked out of the room and went to Gordo's bedroom. 


	12. A Knock on the Table

Chapter 12: A Knock on the Table  
  
A/N: I certainly hope I portrayed this correctly. This is the chapter I was bit worried at but it's what I was leading up to since Chapter 9 (so far anyway. It gets wilder in the later chapters, you know how these switch- body stories go). Anyhow, enjoy!  
  
~~  
  
I noticed Lizzie hadn't come over yet so I called my house.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"Oh...I just got done sort of...I mean. Gordo, what if we never change back? What if I'm stuck as you and you as me? What if I never meet my soul mate in a coffee house?"  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "Dad told you the 'how I met Mom' story, huh?"  
  
"YES! And then I thought...will I be someone's father some day?"  
  
"Lizzie-" I began, but realized she was right. What if I was someone's mother some day? Oh, no...PIGS WILL FLY, HELL WILL FREEZE OVER, AND MISS DOO WILL BE SANE AGAIN BEFORE I EVER BECOME SOMEONE'S MAMA!  
  
"Uh uh, no way. No babies for me. No being a girl. None of this...being you," I thought out loud.  
  
"Tell me about it!"  
  
"Come over!"  
  
"I'm on my way," she stated and hung up.  
  
~~  
  
I knocked furiously at the door until Gordo finally answered it.  
  
"Okay," I started as I walked into my own house. "First things first. Where are the jeans?"  
  
He rolled my eyes and led me upstairs. Handing me the bag I snatched the jeans out and observed them front and back.  
  
"Hm. Not bad. Totally something my mom would pick out but it's doable. Thanks, Gordo."  
  
"Wanna try 'em on?" I muttered, sitting on Lizzie's bed, as I watched my own body holding up the jeans.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your mom asked today why I-Gordo-was wearing YOUR clothes."  
  
"She did?"  
  
"I just know she thinks I'm a total freak now."  
  
"No she doesn't. What did you tell her?" Lizzie sat down, putting the jeans on the side.  
  
I smirked. "Basically that I, Lizzie, FORCED Gordo and he was kicking and screaming."  
  
"Make me out to be the freak, why don't you Gordo."  
  
"Nah. Anyway," I continued, flipping Lizzie's hair, "Do you want to see what I wrote for your paper?"  
  
"No. I'm sure whatever you do will be great. Wait...I don't have to do YOUR work do I?"  
  
"I don't plan on finishing this, Lizzie. You will be YOU by tomorrow."  
  
She put a hand on my curly head and flopped back on the bed. "But how?"  
  
I reached over and grabbed the mysterious book, which I hated now. I grabbed a pencil and was about to write something in it.  
  
~~  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked as I sat straight up.  
  
"I'm gonna see what happens when I write on the pages. It's gotta be better than nothing. Maybe it's like a...magic book, or something."  
  
"Magic? Come on Gordo. Now you're sounding like Matt."  
  
"Lizzie," he huffed. "Look at yourself in the mirror, then come back and tell me THIS idea isn't possible."  
  
After a moment of pondering that statement, I grabbed a pen off my desk and dashed to where Gordo sat.  
  
He sighed and lifted the pen to my chin, thinking of something good to write. "How about...'what is going on here?' Hm? Sound good?"  
  
I shrugged. "Better than nothing."  
  
Gordo began to scribble the statement down. "Gees. It's even hard to write as another person."  
  
We looked at the words. Nothing.  
  
"Let me try," I said. He handed me the book and I thought of something even better to write. I had the urge to put 'You rock. Don't ever change. -Lizzie.'  
  
"How about, um...'Gordo and Lizzie want to change back'." I wrote it down.  
  
"But that's not a question," Gordo said, pushing my bangs out of the way. Oh, I really hope he doesn't get a hair cut while in my body.  
  
"Maybe it doesn't have to be. MAYBE it will listen to our request and we'll be changed back."  
  
My face lit up before me and Gordo said, "Good idea!"  
  
I smiled and looked at my own words. "I know."  
  
"You're thinking up better ideas than me. I guess you really are stuck as me now."  
  
I gasped and gave Gordo a playful shove. "I don't think so. Girls are smarter. I read it in one of your dad's books. Girls are smarter, especially ones named Lizzie!"  
  
I jumped up and giggled, tossing the book down as Gordo chased me around my own room.  
  
~~  
  
Lizzie was quick in my body as she ran from me. I wasn't planning on chasing her but since she ran I just had to now! She opened her bedroom door and dashed down the stairs. She knew her house better than I did and swiftly made her way through it as I bumped into every possible corner.  
  
"Liz-Ah, I mean GORDO!" I called, almost bumping into a gnome.  
  
"HAHA! Girls are smarter, girls are smarter!" Lizzie cried out AS ME-a guy- through the house.  
  
"Gordo," Mrs. McGuire laughed as Lizzie ran through the kitchen. That made her finally STOP.  
  
"Huh? Oh, hi Mrs. McGuire."  
  
"You think girls are smarter?" She smiled as she put some dishes away.  
  
Lizzie smiled and ran her fingers through my hair as I finally caught up with her. "Oh, yeah. Especially Lizzie. She is SO SMART. You should really raise her allowance."  
  
Oh, goodness. Did she really think THAT was going to work? (...and if it does, we're trying this back at MY house).  
  
"OH! Is that what this is about? Did Lizzie put you up to this?" Mrs. McGuire smiled and shook her head as she handed me (her daughter) some towels. "Here, 'smart girl', put these away."  
  
She turned back but not before turning to Lizzie and saying, "Gordo, you're just as smart as any girl."  
  
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, holding the towels in my hand. Once out of Mrs. McGuire's sight, Lizzie turned to me and stuck out my tongue. "Girls are smarter," she sang in a whisper.  
  
"You just love hearing me say that, don't you?" I asked, as I put the towels in the closet, stuffing them in roughly when they didn't fit perfectly. I looked at the disorder of the towels and Lizzie reached over and fixed them really quick.  
  
"Yes, I do," she finally responded after several moments.  
  
"Thanks for tuning back into the conversation," I sarcastically remarked. She slowly turned around and I held back totally laughing at her. It was amazing how even in each other's bodies we could be as goofy as ever.  
  
Sensing she was about to do something to me, I ran.  
  
~~  
  
Here we went again, running in the house. Gordo's body wasn't too hard to maneuver around the house and I almost caught up to Gordo.  
  
He ran outside, my blond hair flying behind. I darted outside, bumped into my dad's stupid lawn gnome (that wasn't even on the LAWN) and rammed into the corner of the picnic table on the deck.  
  
My breath caught in my throat and my eyes bugged out. I felt an intense sensation, an intense pain in my groin. "AHHH!" I cried, doubling over and falling to the ground, grabbing GORDO's crotch.  
  
Within a moment, Gordo was over me, placing my blonde hair behind my ears, and giving me a frantic look. "Are you okay! OMIGOD!"  
  
"Gordo," I pushed out, his voice sounding just a little higher than usual. "I rammed into the table. This...hurts so bad...OH!"  
  
I was taking off at top speed and THIS happens. This had to be some of the worst pain of my LIFE. This is what guys feel when they get hit down there?? This is...horrible!! I grabbed at Gordo hard and twisted in pain.  
  
Gordo placed my hand over his and whimpered. "OW!" He stated in my voice his own sympathy pain. "I'm so sorry. That is the worst, Lizzie. It's the worst."  
  
I squinted up at him, my eyes beginning to tear. "Does the pain go away?"  
  
"It will, yeah."  
  
Just then Matt walked out. "Whoa. Gordo. Didja hit your ba--?"  
  
"MATT!" Mrs. McGuire called, cutting Matt off. She came up right behind him and stopped as she was about to say something.  
  
"GORDO! What happened?"  
  
"He knocked his-"  
  
"RUNNING!" Gordo shouted as me, really not wanting Matt to say something crude and embarrass him with the situation any more than he already was (even though he was in my body). Both of our faces were beet red.  
  
"He was running! Now I knew you kids would hurt yourselves. Gordo, sweetie, do you need some ice?"  
  
I sniffed and shook my head. "The pain's going away...very, very tiny bit." That was partially true. It was less mind numbing pain and more just eye bugging pain. I was running pretty fast.  
  
"Let me get some ice-"  
  
~~  
  
"NO!" I said.  
  
Mrs. McGuire gave me a funny look. "Lizzie, why not?"  
  
"You don't need to do that. Gordo will be okay."  
  
Mrs. McGuire looked at Lizzie who nodded pathetically.  
  
"Fine. Why don't you go sit on the couch inside then."  
  
"Been there, done that. I feel for ya, man," Matt said, once Lizzie was finally somewhat standing. She just gave him a 'get lost loser' look and stumbled into the house and onto the couch.  
  
"Hope you...feel better, Gordo," Mrs. McGuire stated, a little unsure of what to say.  
  
Once she left, I looked at Lizzie. She still had once hand in that area, and the other resting next to my body.  
  
"Okay, you can stop grabbing me now," I whispered.  
  
"No. I can't. I still hurt," she pouted. She gave me a cross look. "That was horrible. Why didn't you tell me about that?"  
  
I tilted my (Lizzie's) head and slumped my shoulders. "It didn't come to mind. How was I supposed to know you'd knock my balls into the table?" Wait, this WAS Lizzie we were talking about.  
  
She gasped loudly--appalled. "GORDO!" she hissed so her mom wouldn't hear. "Keep your voice down. My mom's gonna think * I * said that. It's so....ugh, crude!"  
  
"Yeah, well. It's guy talk and you aren't a guy. Well...usually."  
  
She looked down. "They don't bruise do they?"  
  
"I don't think so," I reassured, sitting back and sighing. Even though I feel REALLY bad Lizzie had to go through that, I am SO GLAD I didn't. I felt a little guilty thinking this but shrugged it off because we couldn't help the situation after all, right?  
  
After a long pause, Lizzie turned to me and asked  
  
~~  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about this girl, Kelly?"  
  
Gordo looked at me and shrugged, putting some of my hair behind my ear.  
  
"It's not a big deal."  
  
"Oh, well...do you like her?"  
  
"Sure. I think so."  
  
Still smarting from the knock against the table, I didn't press the conversation on. Gordo, however, did.  
  
"I mean, why is it that the girls I like either don't like me or live miles away. But I guess it's better that way. Middle school is hard enough without the added pressure of who you're dating. Ya know?"  
  
"But you've had a girlfriend before," I respond in Gordo's voice.  
  
"I know. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be."  
  
"So you don't think you'll ever have a girlfriend again...in middle school?" I held my breath, but then scolded myself. Come on, this was Gordo. Whether he has a girlfriend or not, we're still best friends.  
  
He just shrugged my shoulders. "If the opportunity presents itself..."  
  
~~  
  
Just then Mrs. McGuire came in to check on us. "You okay, Gordo?"  
  
Lizzie looked up at her (as me) and nodded sadly. "Am I going to bruise?" she asked in a pouty, pathetic tone that is so Lizzie and so NOT me. I blushed. Did Lizzie just make me ask HER MOM about my...* area *??!!  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "You don't know how many times Matt has done that. And Sam...oh, that man is as clumsy as they come."  
  
"Except for me. It must run in the family-clumsiness I mean," I stated in Lizzie's voice with a small laugh. It was a petty vengeful statement but the focus seriously needed to be off me and my privates.  
  
"That IS true," Mrs. McGuire murmured and walked away.  
  
Lizzie gave me an offended look. "What was that all about?"  
  
"Asking your mom that question. Lizzie! Don't forget who you are!"  
  
She sighed. "Sorry." 


End file.
